Thursday, 24 August 2017

THE RODENT COUP - Arasi Kolapo


The animal kingdom is ruled by the Lion King, the animal with tawny shoulders ebb, swaying flank and lowered mane, he pads the track proud and slow springing with pride, he yawns and blinks his golden eye waiting for preys to fall in into his claws of horror.

The majesty of the Lion King can never be over emphasized in his kingdom. Like any ruler the lion dedicate jobs to loyal generals, the lion and the cat comes from the same lineage and the cat his expected to be a loyal subject.

How come rats, mere rats are threatening the authority of the Lion King who is the bigger cat, in a kingdom where there are cats in abundance, not to mention the numbers of hyenas and jackals.

Have other cats deserted the Lion King? Or Have they conspired with rats to topple his administration?

If the Lion King is not secured from rats then every other animal in the kingdom is not safe.

After over three months of medical vacation, it's beats to hear that Rodents have taken over the president's office.

Oh rats are naughty creatures.

It's possible now, anybody from Ibadan would agree to that. We heard the story of how rats chased Oba Asanke out of the Oja Oba Palace, even when he was not away on medical vacation.

Some people believed it was due to the palace closeness to a market, while some believe it was due to prayers offered by Muslim clergy who were not comfortable with the location of the palace, as the drums and song from the palace disturb their prayers at the Ibadan central mosque Oja Oba.

The authenticity  of this story is though a discussion for another day.

Two quick questions....
1) How close is Aso rock to a market?
2) Is there a central mosque whose clergy are not comfortable with the location of Aso rock?

I am sure none of the above is the case, then how did rats get to Aso rock.

Rats could be anywhere Yes. How did rats get into the Aso rock to the extent of taking control of the presidential office, #4 billion is earmarked for the cleaning and fumigation of Aso rock handled by Julius Berger, it is either the contractor is not doing her job, or the money is embezzled like every other fund.

Probably PMB went away with the keys of the presidential office preventing the cleaners from accessing the office.

Maybe they were doing their jobs right but the rat population just keep escalating at an uncontrollable rate. Now we know where our Lassa Fever trouble comes from, if 4 billion naira is not enough to protect Aso rock from rats then how safe are the citizens who have nothing allocated for the fumigation of our communities, schools and workplace.

 How safe are we?

What happened to cats. Yes maybe the government never thought of that, cats could be effective where rodenticide have failed and we should not feel ashamed about it. We just simply tell the world how we failed with rodenticide (chemical control) and turned to Cats (Biological control) that's O'level biology.

 We can even import exotic breeds of cats, since we are A grader at importing.

Even WHO advised us to keep cats to combat Lassa fever,rats are the carrier of Lassa fever.

The president just got back from medical vacation and during those periods it was visible to the blind and audible to the deaf that the president was seriously not to say gravely ill.

And for someone who is recuperating, it does not really matter where such person works from provided the conditions for efficiency are available at the official annex.

We have heard many of such funny news from the presidency in the past and it further shows our level of seriousness with governance.

Little wonders foreign media mock us. For those who felt Nigeria is being mocked by the foreign media,i hope they can see the genesis of the mockery.

Garba Shehu who is a seasoned journalist should understand better, and learn to think before he talks other than talk and later try to give justification.

Like the rodent coup d’etat!, and I think next time someone wants to go for medical vacation, they won't be in Ghana and be using Senegalese drugs.

God bless Nigeria
Arasi Senior Kolapo

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